Dawg Camp Family,
I’ve never really been much of a writer, but I’ve discovered
lately how much better I can process and reflect by doing so, and so based on
how overwhelmed I am by this weekend, I wanted to write about it. While this is
obviously going to be beneficial for me, I thought it would be selfish to keep
these thoughts to myself and not share them with all of the people that left me
so very overwhelmed.
Like so many of you, Dawg Camp captured a huge part of my
heart during my first couple of years on campus. My experience as a camper
smoothed my transition from high school in tremendous ways. My first year on
staff was as a crew member, and despite my initial vast disappointment that I
wouldn’t have my own small group, I grew so much from that experience. I was introduced
to the idea of servant leadership for the first time and learned not only what leading
from behind looks like but also why it’s vital. It was that foundation that paved
the way for me to be able to step into the counselor role and lead a small
group the following year for DC11 (one-one, if you’re curious what we called
it).
However, following DC11, as many of you now know, my life was
fully consumed by my battles with anxiety and severe depression. I spent the
majority of the next four years away from school and consequently had to step
away from this incredible program as well. While those were the darkest times
of my life, they were also the catalyst behind so much growth. While it was
that growth that allowed me to finally return to UGA this past fall, it was
that return that allowed me to once again become involved with this life-changing
organization.
Unfortunately, my return to DC didn’t initially go as I
hoped. I knew that I likely wouldn’t know anyone on staff and would also be at
least a couple years older than most all of you, but I didn’t really expect to
struggle with assimilating into the DC community in the ways that I found
myself doing exactly that. Even though I was able to form some deeper relationships with a few of you, overall I found myself feeling very alienated and
questioning whether or not I was still cut out to be a part of Dawg Camp.
It’s nearly impossible for me to fathom I was still
experiencing those feelings just seventy-two short hours ago. After this
weekend’s retreat and being fully re-immersed in the heart of DC, I have walked
away with an abundance of confidence that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I showed up Friday night with a weekend goal of just trying to be as open and
authentic as I could. You guys in turn took that and met me with grace,
compassion, understanding, and an abundance of love. I know I briefly hit on
this Saturday night, but that reaction is so contrary to the judgment, condemnation,
and degradation that society is so quick to shell out when it comes to mental
health issues, and so in closing, I just wanted to say a few thank yous.
To those of you who also shared about your own struggles
with anxiety, depression, and self-hatred, thank you. You have given me a
tangible purpose to my story for the first time. Every second of pain I ever
experienced during my last five years was utterly and completely worth it if my
story gave you guys just one single ounce of hope.
To the rest of you who opened up about your struggles with
your family, your identity, or your search for what you hold to be true, thank
you. You broadened my perspective in extraordinary ways.
To those of you who held my hand, hugged my neck, or lent a
shoulder for my tears, thank you. It allowed and encouraged me to continue to
strive for as much vulnerability as I had within me.
To those of you who I might not have spent much time with or
gotten to know all that well yet, prepare yourselves now, because it’s coming.
To exec, Reggie, and Eddie, thank you for having enough
belief in me and my story to give me this opportunity. This experience has
already meant more to me than you guys will ever know.
To all of you, thank you for making me feel like a highly integral
part of this team. I can only hope I was able to do as much for you guys this
weekend that you did for me. The passion, compassion, and unconditional love
each of you live your lives with is not only what makes this program so special
but what is going to change the world. I can’t wait to see where this journey
takes all of us, but I am so dang honored to be along for the ride.
All of the love,
Peter
